'Marriage Story' and Loss
by Mitch Wiley
I got married last month. Maybe I should have waited a bit longer before watching Noah Baumbach’s new Netflix film Marriage Story. The title is tongue-in-cheek because the story is one of divorce rather than matrimony and romance. The film centers around a couple, Charlie and Nicole, both masterfully played by Adam Driver and Scarlett Johansson. Charlie is a New York avant-garde theater director who is just beginning to hit the big time on Broadway. Nicole is a former movie actor who now stars in Charlie’s theater troupe. Unfortunately, their marriage is no longer working and the couple is moving forward in filing a divorce. The chief priority is their young son, Henry. Echoing 1979’s Kramer vs. Kramer, the divorce process ratchets up when Nicole hires a hard-hitting lawyer, played by Laura Dern. Nicole’s lawyer is coming for everything, including Henry. Nicole has moved to Los Angeles and is preparing to star in a TV pilot. Charlie is staying in New York to continue his Broadway debut. There is no win-win situation; there can only be a winner and a loser. Charlie is forced to hire his own cutthroat lawyer in response. As the price of the divorce and lawyers rises, so does the pressure and anger on both sides. The viewer is left to decide which side they lie on. The problem is both characters are flawed and broken.
Much debate has arisen on which side Baumbach and the film falls. Some vehemently argue Charlie, others Nicole. While the film begins with Nicole as the aggressor in her hiring of Laura Dern’s character, revelations later in the film tip the scales against Charlie. One particularly poignant argument stands out not only as the “Oscars scene,” but as a realistic anger, brokenness, and rock bottom. I can only think while watching this scene, “This is not what marriage is supposed to be.” I have no illusions that my marriage will be all roses and perfect. Only a little over a month in, and I have been confronted with my own sin and brokenness. As one book title given to me in pre-marital counseling says, marriage is when two sinners say, “I do.”
Marriage Story depicts divorce as loss. Most people think of grief in terms of the death of a loved one. The film describes divorce as, “death without a body.” Make no mistake, this is a film about loss, grief, denial, and regrets. The film is layered and messy. The characters are easy to empathize with but also despise. I won’t give away how the film ends, but it further layers this story of Nicole and Charlie. It’s not black and white or simple. They don’t hate each other. It’s not one person’s fault. This is not the story of a standard divorce or even an archetype. But it’s the story of two characters who feel so real you forget you’re watching Netflix.